The following article was posted on Thai Visa News by a man who has spent many years living in Thailand. He airs his views and opinions in an extremely well-put together article about the western view of Thai men. They are not necessarily the views of this publication, though we wholeheartedly endorse his comments towards the end of the article regarding the qualities of many Thai men. This we know from personal experience.
Some online forums would have you believe that Thai men are the devil incarnate.
They have no redeeming features, or so the comments expound.
In short, Thai men are beer swilling, Ya Ba taking, wife beating misogynist layabouts who beat their own children then abandon them at the drop of a hat to go off with the mia noi.
They gamble and cheat and live off the earnings of Thai women, without whom, the whole country would fall apart. They enjoy a superior position in society which is not merited, we are constantly reminded.
When one of their own attacks a woman in the street they turn the other way ignoring her plight. They only spring into action, the detractors continue, when the odds are about ten to one in their favour attacking with fists flailing and boots connecting with heads as their defenseless victims writhe on the floor pleading for mercy.
Give it a rest.
The comments seen continually from many in the foreign community smack of nothing more than ignorant and belligerent racism. For some reason the females of Thailand have been endowed with all the blessings while the men are castigated for everything that is wrong with the country.
Occasionally you will see someone who speaks up for Thai men, but it is a rarity.
The reality is that a great number of foreign men are engaging in the very same pack mentality bullying that they accuse the Thai men of. In this it is the classic behaviour of the bully – they hide behind their keyboards spouting some kind of western superiority.
We are constantly reminded of how they are braver, stronger, more moral, smarter…superior in every way.
And of course if it came to a fight, a fair one, one on one with fists, the Thai would go screaming home to mummy while the westerner would cover himself in glory for saving the day and preserving everything that is right and good in the human race.
Many have repeated this nonsense so much that they take it as some kind of home truth and they drag more relative newcomers to Thailand down to the same level with their banal rhetoric.
The root cause is probably inadequacy. Deprived of the rights of their homeland and struggling with not just the language but the intricacies of the culture, they feel the need to attack and like the bully they pick on Thai men. They also choose to believe stories they hear from bar girls without questioning the latter’s propensity to have an axe to grind.
They point to the sensationalism of the news as a justification for their views for is there not always a Thai man behaving badly towards a woman, a step-father beating his children to a pulp or a lying, cheating husband pumping his wife full of lead for having a go at him, causing him to lose face.
Of course these stories exist, but do the detractors not stop to think that these occur anywhere. Do they not ponder for a second of all the good that the great majority of Thai men do for their families? Has it not crossed their mind that there might be better if they only looked?
Because, just like the vast majority of people the world over, there are good and bad but the largest number of Thai men are like those anywhere…good, honest people. People worth getting to know.
Where does the bias come from?
Many western men gravitate to the bar scene in Thailand – it is not only the women of the bars that blight their view of the Thai population. It is the men too.
They see bouncers. They see men delivering their girlfriends to work at night. They see a part of society that is hardly representative of the whole. They have almost no contact with the Thai middle class, let alone the hi-so elements who they tar with the same brush even though they have no contact with them either. And as referred to earlier – they trust the views of Thai prostitutes as somehow representative of the opinions that Thai women have of their men.
Really, little has changed from the days of the 1960s when the Americans thought they could go to Vietnam for an easy win. Tooled up with overwhelming military superiority they went in to kick some Gook Butt only to get their own derriere’s thoroughly whooped by the little fellas.
The excuses came out of course and with it resentment seethed. Now Americans and everybody else are back at it, expounding their supposed superiority on a new target. Accuse them of racism and they deny it, saying that it is the Thai men who are racist.
In much of the first decade I was here I was influenced by the bar scene and that caused a lack of knowledge of Thai men. I must admit though I kept it to myself, I thought Thai women superior to the men. I learnt Thai but always from women – I had to be careful I did not sound like one when I spoke.
But that was before I really met any Thai men. In the last twenty five years I have met hundreds more Thai men than women, men mostly from the middle class; and I have learnt to respect them greatly.
Of all the people I have ever met in my life in the west and in Thailand I would put more Thai men in my ‘top ten’ than any other nationality.
Why?
Because I have met smart Thai men. I have met family oriented Thai men who care about their wives and children. I have met Thai men who care about others, care about their country and society; Thai men who are moral, well-adjusted and basically, just plain likeable.
To the point now where I wouldn’t make any major distinction between the men and women of the country. Of course there are bad as well as good but in my view the good far outweigh the bad.
Of course, this writer is not a Thai man but neither am I what some call a Thai apologist. I am as much a critic of the society as the next man, perhaps more so. But in nearly four decades in Thailand I have tried to understand the people and their perspectives. All people. I have tried to gain a broader idea of the society. And I am still trying.
So I would just like to say to those who are constantly having a go at Thai men.
Do you really know any? Have you tried to talk to any? Have you made any effort to get to know your fellow man or are you just happy to display your ignorant superiority complex because that is the easiest way to look good beside your western mates?
Try and meet some Thai men. Make some friends. Get some balance away from the hype of your little bubble.
And you may just start to see another side to Thai men.
(Source:Thai Visa News)